I wrote this as my first "blog" (if you can call it that) back in the day. I'm 44 now... well you can do the math. after you read it. The sad thing is I fought off buying glasses since I wrote this. Today is the day I went and bought my first readers... The Great Winding Down has stepped up it's game.
Previously on the Age War....
The number 37 was staring Donovan in the face. Like most numbers, 37 seemed harmless enough wedged in between 36 and 38. He had starred down previous numbers 1 through 36 pretty thorough. This morning however, as he brushed his teeth, the reality hit him. The numbers were starting to add up, and they weren't being nice about it.
The gray hairs, the ear hair, and the ever increasing belly up to now had all been manageable. But now the gloves he can see were coming off. The number 37, which had lain dormant for almost a year now slapped him up the head. He couldn't read the tube of toothpaste any more.
Donovan wasn't a toothpaste tube reader in the common sense. He did prefer more esoteric reading like a novel or books with pretty pictures. Not that the tube of toothpaste wasn't informative. It had oodles of information to share, instructions to give out, ingredients, etc.
He hadn't sought out the tube of toothpaste for a light morning read. His eyes had a tendency to wonder while his mouth was preoccupied with brushing. They wondered over the cluttered bathroom sink, past the clippers, soap scrum, avoiding the strands of hair that had accumulated, various wrappers were also avoided, an empty tissue box (which was added to the mental list of things to do/get), the hardly used comb, the old toothbrush that held on to the belief it would be used to get those hard to clean spots around the sink, the six half used deodorant sticks (somehow deodorant stick seem to add itself to the metal list of things to get), and then finally on to the tube of toothpaste.
Donovan saw a strange symbol he hadn't notice before and was broken out of his roving eye sink tour. When he brought the tube of toothpaste closer he recognized what it was, the symbol of the American Dental Association. Now normally this in itself isn't newsworthy. It's what happened as Donovan moved further away from his eyes the symbol and the fine print became less obvious.
His eyes which had been near perfect his whole life had decided to follow the other organs and begin what is known as the Great Winding Down. Thus began the Great Age War. The war has been going on for several months now. Though truth to be told, the war actually began at the number 0. It wasn't till the number 37 decided to start getting nasty about his eyes that it came apparent he was in the war of his life.
The war hasn't yet produced a clear victor yet. However, Donovan still hasn't won any battles. He is confident that he shall prevail in the end, and hasn't given up hope. Still he does now keep the tube of toothpaste in the drawer. No sense in giving the enemy ammunition. Battle on Donovan, battle on.
© donovan (dono) evans